Wednesday, April 22, 2015

If I were to have seen me now...

If I were to have seen me now a year ago...
I'd not believe it to be...
I feel so different inside...fear dwells where denial once lived...
Forced optimism masked what I didn't want to be true...
life played itself out as I secretly wanted it to and now I feel so old yet new...
not new like fresh and alive...new like someone I do not recognize...
Things I used to care about no longer exist...love I used to have faded into the mist...
who am I and where did I go...once a playful fun spirit now a serious responsible being...
once happy and hopeful now solid and cold...
the only things that matter are getting business done and keeping my child healthy...
my own joys seem not to exist and when I search for them I desire nothing...
who am I and where did I go...
If I were to have seen me now a year ago...would I change anything...no
but never in my life have I felt no sense of what the future holds...never in my life have I not had personal dreams and goals...I feel as though I have sacrificed my soul and I do not know how to get me back...
where did I go? how do I get myself back...
one thing remains the same....one thing will always be true...this too shall pass

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Exploring The Darkside in Order to Find the Light


Its become common knowledge that you can not have one without the other. Opposites are needed in order to have definition of one another. If the world was all light and one big utopia there would be no need to exist, and it would be impossible to have only evil unless there was good to compare it to.

On that note when we go through challenging and dark times all we really wish for is light. What I am coming to realize is that there i truly no way to see the light until you have explored every corner of the dark. The challenges and darkness are there and will inevitably go away once you find the light and can see the difference in the process you just went through. You've grown and you are wiser because of it.

So what does it mean to explore the darkside? Do we interact with it, do we wade through it feeling our way around the pain, or do we observe and explore it with a sense of detachment and total appreciation for its value? I suppose the latter is the way to best make use of our time exploring the darkside but detachment entails being able to live and be compassion. We have to be able to see things we do not like without feeling the need to relieve it. We have to understand its happening as it should and has a purpose. If we interact with it we have added dimensions and karma and prolonged the process, but if we observe it from compassionate detached place we have better chances of leaving the journey feelings a sense of enlightenment.

How do we walk through the darkside detached when we are empathic humans and we feel everything. No one said walking through the darkside would be painless or easy. We have to learn to process what we see and feel then let it go. It was something we observed it did not have to be something we permanently took on.

In my own life at this moment I am clearly exploring the darkness but I am not having much luck remaining detached. I have been finding myself interacting and adding to the problem as opposed to allowing the darkness to do its job and letting go at the end of the day. I believe my problem with this is that I am raising a child I adopted and promised to provide a healthier environment than she started off in life and here I am watching as things out of my control are happening. As I walk through the darkside I see sides of my child unfold that would never be there if I had not let certain things transpire yet truly it was all going to happen one way or another and truly is out of my control. I have come to believe I am writing this post to help remind me that as I explore the darkside in life at this time I need to allow and let go. This does not mean that I do not support or be responsible, but it does mean that when my child turns into the devil because she knows no other way to express how she is feeling I need to "ALLOW HER TO MISBEHAVE" and stay firm in my discipline and always hug her in the end.

The darkside sure is ugly but in the end both myself and my daughter will be shinning bright. I need to stay out of karmas way and assist in life and not necessarily interact with it.

If you are reflecting on your journey through the darkside right now and I can share one piece of advice I will say this, "This too shall pass". It always does.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Lucy - We Don't Really Die...


The movie Lucy was the perfect "How to understand existence for dummies" movie yet some still missed the point. In short Lucy was able to use enough of her brain to defy all logic as our 10% brain usage can understand. Once she was able to use enough of her brain she suddenly realized all things that make us human are gone and her knowledge was all that exists. What some people missed in that statement is that what makes us human is not who we are. Who we are is "everything" and we are "everywhere". Who we know humans to be is so minuet we might as well be a spec of dust on a fleas wing. One thing Lucy does understand and tries to bring to light is that even though we do not use all our brain there still is purpose. Everything still is working exactly as it should be its just at this point and time in existence our human brains are waking up and because our communication among one another is sped up to lightening speed more information can be shared, expressed, and relayed quicker than any other time in history. Therefore we are right on target in the circle and cycle of human evolution. As in the movie you see where it begins and where it ends is one and the same...that is because existence, just as the air we breath, is always there. If you can imagine that we are everything and everywhere when would we not exist? Time, as the movie helps us understand, truly is the only form of measurement and with out it we do not exist in the literal, or physical sense. We make time therefore we create physical existence. Once we can stop time, once we evolve past using time as a form of measurement, only then have we left the physical world. This helps us understand physical death. Lucy states in the movie "we never really die". The physical self has let go of measuring time and their for has no need to physically exist but they are one and the same....they too are everything and everywhere all the time. This is what it means when it is said "i will always be with you" when someone passes. They, we, can not be separate of one another, we only see separation with the small percent of our mind we use but in reality we are all one and the same. We are "God" we are "the divine" we are "the universe". When you break it down as the movie did its easier to understand the cycle of human evolution and existence. There are still many things our minds can not comprehend because we are still thinking in a 3D perspective but once our society evolves more many of our questions we have can be answered because we will be using more of our brain. So do evolution a favor and wake up. Use more of your brain. Think, express, communicate, grow, and evolve. Do not get me wrong you do not need to be perfection you just need to be willing to look at life with more of an open heart and mind. Merely opening your heart and mind just a little more than it already is is enough to move human evolution along.

Monday, March 16, 2015

You Don't Have to be Psychic To Read People...

....all you have to do is listen, watch, and feel. It is very easy to read people and no special psychic abilities are needed all you need is a clear observant mind that is free from judgement. Judgement can taint your perception and easily cause you to misread someone. If you have the true desire to be able to read people you may need to begin by becoming a people watcher. Sit, watch, and don't say a word. Peoples actions speak extremely loud. Body language can easily give away a persons mood and if you look at where you are what they are you can begin to start to put a story together. Of course you can never truly know unless you ask the person or if you knew them fairly well...but the more practice you have the easier it gets. I personally use it as part of my social game when I am out interacting with people I never met. I make it fun and I look them over and start to read them. I ask them a few simple yes or no questions to help my reasoning and then BAM! they are chit chatting away with me about their life. People love to talk about themselves so if you ever want to win brownie points just get people talking. Have you ever watch the tv series Elementary. How do you think he so quickly picks up on what is really happening? He is extremely observant, borderline autism I would say, but he really zeros in on what he sees and begins to piece things together. So let's make this a fun challenge. Start doing some people watching, not stalking, but just casual observing and begin to get a feel for reading people. Then one night when you are sitting around with friends and mingling with people you haven't met yet ask them if you can try reading them. You can make it fun and hold their hands...this will give them the impression your psychic or something...and then start observing their body language. think back on some thing you heard them talking about, consider their age and gender, and try and see if you can tell them things about themselves they haven't made known to a lot of people. If you know anything about astrology you can through that in too. If you know their sign you have a lot of basic traits that can help you zero in on some personal characteristics. Finally feel them out. Is their tone edgy, are they irritated with you and this is not fun for them, hmmm maybe they are cynics....are the smiling ear to ear and when they talk you feel cozy inside...hmmm maybe they are naturally nurturing people...use all your senses and before you know it you'll even amaze yourselves. Think about it this way, psychics are merely sensitives with heightened senses, if you begin to use your senses maybe you are becoming psychic? Maybe the label "psychic" is just a label for fine tuning our senses and getting in touch with all things around us. Maybe the way we look at the label of one who is psychic will begin to change because suddenly we understand everything is easy to understand when we tune into another using all our senses simultaneously. Maybe we are something we never imagined ourselves to really be but have always known we are...maybe you will suddenly....wake up.

  

Sunday, March 15, 2015

The Importance of Becoming Self Aware


In life people often find themselves offended by what others say or do because they "think" the other person is trying to hurt them, but in reality the situation is touching a sensitive point or insecurity they have within and they interpret it completely different than intended. At times they become even more angry when the other person does not own up or take responsibility for their actions towards them or others when really they are absolutely not responsible for how other people feel if their intent was the opposite. If you are the person who is getting the finger pointed at and you did not do anything to deserve the negative feedback then do not allow it to bother you it is the other persons problem not yours. The same goes when someone does not like you. You have no control over how the other person feels and whatever their problem is is strictly their problem. They win when you allow it to effect you. If you can turn the cheek and let it go then eventually the energy will dissipate and the situation changes as a whole. The basis of this post is to help awaken people to how our own insecurities, fears, and pains are often triggered unconsciously by the assumed actions of others. We need to become aware of "actual" intend and not "assumed" intent. If you do not know the difference in a particular situation you have a choice....talk to the person about it or let it go. If you hold onto it you will gain nothing but angst from the situation. It's important to be in touch with your inner emotions, know your pains and fear, and be aware of their triggers. If you sweep these things under the carpet or do not become conscious of who you truly are, you will continue to live in survivor mode and not grow as a person.
Become aware of who you are so you can better understand and hear the clear intent of others. If you can recognize when someone is merely triggering and insecurity and when they are truly intending to hurt you, you have achieved success in self awareness!

Monday, March 9, 2015

If in 3 sentences...


Stock image of 'Eternity sign in red pink macro blotch on white background'

if you could look up into the stars and see eternity would you take your eyes away...

if you knew that streams ripples carried the vibrations of natures love would sink your soul in them...

if you were able to hold on or be free could you do both at the same time...

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Force Nothing...

Everyone has heard the term "go with the flow" but how many people have taken it literally? If we go with the flow aren't we conforming to what others want us to do? Hmmm? I would first think that maybe it meant to be a sheep and be asleep but really "going with the flow" is really the best advice to avoid much unneeded pain and suffering. I'm not saying be passive and live in ignorance. Not at all. What I am saying is, is that when the universe deals you a hand you always have a decision on how you deal with it. For example, let's say you are sitting in traffic and are almost to your exit. You are ready for the relief of all the congestion when suddenly someone cuts you off and makes you wait that much longer. What do you do? How do you react? You have a decision. Do you go off the curb and cut back in front of the person? Opp's I hear sirens. Do you scream, yell, and beep your horn? Ugh the person is getting out of their car...this could get ugly. Or do you take a deep breath and understand the universe is working under one big plan and for what ever reason, which you may never know, you weren't supposed to exit the freeway just yet. Maybe if you had a car would smash into and cause a tragic accident. The point being is that we choose to force things when they upset up. No one likes being upset or taken off track of what they were thinking was supposed to be happening. On a more personal scale we often have issues in our relationships where we need to take the same advice. If our we have an attraction to someone and we pour our heart out to them it is human nature to think the other person will be swooned and feel the same thing we do. Some of the time that may be true but for what ever reason it is not always the case. So....you have a choice. Do you keep pouring your heart out to that person in hopes they eventually respond? Why would you do that? Yes it feels good to express yourself, but that person is not going to change their heart because your being persistent. They may be flattered and want you to keep the love coming but you know things will not go anywhere and because you are forcing the issue you are holding yourself back from other possibilities and opportunities! What if all this time you were charming this one love you missed the opportunity of meeting your soul mate. You were so busy thinking you found the one even though they weren't receptive that you literally forced one situation and missed another.
We have to trust that life is happening just as it should. Even though the outcome is not what we want it we truly have to suck it up, bite down and bear it, and go with the flow. As soon as we force things that are not necessarily meant to be we have created friction and mad things that much harder for ourselves. It's kind of like when the judge says you need to go to jail for a month for a petty crime and you're so angry because you felt the sentence was unfair that while your in jail you fight everyone who crosses your path. Looks like you just made your pain that much worse and your sentence that much  longer.
In the end we always have a choice and if we want to choose "the easiest" route we need to just go with what the universe deals us with as little resistance as possible. Do not get me wrong. There will be challenges that the universe sends us that does call for our attention, but you truly need to decide when the universe is showing you a different path and when you need to grab the shovel to get through that path. Getting in tune with your higher self and looking within to what is true and real is very important for our connection to what the universe has in store for us. We do not need to walk upon this earth blindly accepting whatever is in front of us....the universe is constantly talking to us and explaining what is happening in the moment...it is up to you if you choose to tune in and listen or tune out and be a pawn. Once again you have a choice. In the mean time try not to force things....and go with the flow...and when your ready....take that step to learn how to go within and suddenly learn the language of the gods....silence.